Python, Ruby

• concurrency lol
• packaging lol

Golang

• lol if you don’t like typing err :=

• y u no generics

• lol imports

Haskell

• need PhD

• will never be mainstream

Idris

• only for concating lists

Erlang

• lol syntax

Javascript

• javascript

Rust

• how do I do x this week?

Clojure

• let me know when the program has started running
• lol if you want to build a secure thing on the web

Scala

• lol if you think this actually improves java

PHP

• which of these 10 fns should I use?

OCaml

• haskell without the awesome

Prolog

• mucho problemo